The Difference Between Being Good and Being Great
Posted: March 14, 2005 Filed under: Default 1 Comment »My wife made a comment to me the other day during one of our discussions as to what I was going to do. We have these conversations from time to time, usually during one of those short periods that may extend only a week or two, or maybe less, which define the next few years of your life. It happens that now is one of those times, and things may continue as they are for rest of the year or they may change right now. However, all the options before me are not exactly what I would consider great.
The crux of the problem is this: nothing comes without sacrifices. You can be good at a lot of things but, in my observation, you can only be great at one. Rarely do you see an instance where someone achieves notoriety for something they have done where they are also a great husband or a great father, or at least they’re not both simultaneously. I suppose the key to doing something great is to do it and to move on to the next big thing. For some, it’s their next company or their next command or their next office, and for others it’s fatherhood or motherhood or it’s re-committing themselves to their marriage or slipping away into a great retirement.
I seem to try to do everything early and along the way I seem to skip a few important things (like College). I started my career early, I got married early, and now I’m feeling washed up early. Kinda sad to feel washed up at 24 isn’t it? I’m going to miss my goal of making a million by 25, but I’ve accepted that as an impossibility long ago. However, while my wife and I were having our aforementioned conversation, which was about doing another startup, she mentioned that she felt I would always do something great. There’s an inherent problem with this. It’s impossible to have a normal life and attempt to achieve greatness. Something has to give, and the question is, am I, and to a larger extent, is she, willing to sacrifice everything on a chance?
The chance is that a deal will come along, either of my own creation or through a contact, which basically involves leaving a cushy corporate job with good salary and good benefits to take at best an OK salary and OK benefits with the idea that if by the sheer will of you and your co-workers, you can make something out of this thing you’re calling a company and all come out with enough money to either not have to work ever again, or at least not work for quite a while. Obviously, there are a lot of factors which I won’t go into in deciding whether this is a good deal or not, but even with the best qualifications at picking these, there’s a big chance it’s going to end up in failure. Failure could mean at best that you’re out of a job. At worst if could mean you’re out of a job with no savings and lot of debt to go with it. Obviously, this is a significant amount of risk, especially when we’re not exactly the most financially stable couple. However, significant reward doesn’t come without significant risk. It’s certainly a pickle, and the most interesting thing about this decision is that it’s only theoretical at this point. I have no path to greatness even sitting before me at this point.
Part of the lure of the startup isn’t even the monetary gain. It’s just damn fun. If you’re working in a small company trying to make it big, the success of the company is largely in your hands. I feel an overwhelming urge to have more responsibility, even though I may not always be deserving. I have an inherent belief that given that responsibility that I’ll do well, or better yet even shine. I believe that since I’ve been a part of failure that I have learned from my mistakes, and the next time I take a big risk I will succeed. It’s easy to convince yourself of this, but that doesn’t mean it’s not going to end up in failure yet again.
So, while this isn’t necessarily a permanent or even imminent decision, I’m feeling a pressure that I’ve placed on myself to make this decision between being good and being great. As most of you know, I’m an incredibly egotisitcal person. I think I’m awesome. I think I’m smart. I think I’m destined to do something great, but I’m realizing as I get older that the chances are slimming. I’m also realizing that some of things I decided to forego were somewhat important to achieving greatness. It’s certainly not impossible but the odds are definitely stacked against me. I’m also missing motivation. I’m a cyclically motivated guy. When something new comes around I’m incredibly motivated to work hard, but when the newness wears off I tend to slack. I suppose no one who achieved greatness didn’t have to overcome adversity, but I think remaining motivated may be something I’ll never be able to overcome.
So the alternative is to be good. I am good at what I do. Without much effort I can continue to be very good, and at the same time I could probably take the extra time that I normally spend goofing off and focus that on being good at other things, like being a good husband (again, we have a motivation issue, but my wife has unique and powerful ways to motivate me when she herself feels motivated to do so 
). I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about being just good as well, and frankly there’s a lot of pros on that side as well. You can be good at a lot of things, not have to sacrifice much, and live a long, prosperous, and happy life. Some people would feel lucky to have these two options to choose from, and certainly I could live the rest of my life with my wife and hopefully some children, clawing my way to middle management, and hope to impart my legacy on the world through my children or perhaps just spend the rest of my life smelling the roses.
Sometimes I think that I’d be totally content spending the rest of my life working and spending time with my wife. I think being just good would probably be a great life, after all it seems to work for everyone that isn’t written about. However, having made this decision will I also have a life of regret? Regret of passing up my potential? Living with the feeling that I could have been great had I have not chosen the easy path? Is being good good enough?
So it’s come time. In the next month, or the next year, or the next 5 years I’m going to have to decide. I honestly can’t tell you which is better or what I’ll decide. Hopefully I don’t overestimate my talents, and hopefully whatever decision I make will bring me happiness.
Butters
Posted: March 10, 2005 Filed under: Mel Leave a comment »
Butters “Captain Chaos” Dickens 2004 – 2005
Earlier this week, a tragedy occured. Not a tragedy on the scale of loosing a child (which also happened in my family this week), but a tragedy nonetheless. It may be hard for some to understand why loosing a pet is so upsetting, but let me try to explain. Some of us do not have children, and some have had children and now they are all grown and living independantly. The desire to nurture and protect those who need us is an instinctual and sometimes overwhelming need. So some of us, when circumstances demand it, choose to funnel this energy into a pet. I guess it really does no good to try and explain it – if your pet is a family member, you already know what I’m talking about, if you are petless or your pet is simply a pet, you’ll never understand. My parents, like me, consider their pets members of their family. A few days ago, my parents lost their beloved Butters. He was hit by a car in front of his home. My parents live out in the country and, unfortunately, this is a fairly common occurance. I talked of Butters in a previous post so I think I’ve made it clear just how special he was to my parents. He managed to weasel his way pretty deep into the hearts of those who knew him only briefly. He was truly a magnificent cat. My parents have had many additions to their family over the years. This is mainly due to their living in the country where many people decide to drop carloads of kittens when they are too lazy to find them good homes. I’ve always believed that there is a special place in hell for people who dump animals, and so it follows that there is a special place in heaven for those that pick them up, dry them off, bring them inside and let them stay. I imagine this place in heaven is also heavily populated with all kinds of pets as well – pets that were lucky enough to wander into the yards of people like my parents, and those who weren’t so fortunate. So here’s to Butters – may you rest in peace. No matter what you choose to call heaven, I’m sure that right now Butters is there; napping someplace soft and warm and will wake in a bit to chase a nut or small bit of string. We will miss him.
Melanie
The Oscars
Posted: March 10, 2005 Filed under: Mel Leave a comment »If you know me very well, you know I have designated a larger than advisable portion of my brain as a warehouse for useless pop culture trivia. One of my biggest stockpiles is the Academy Awards. Never argue with me over which movie won which award in which year. I will always win. I even have a list of all the movies that won Best Picture – I place a checkmark next to each movie once I’ve seen it. Someday, I will have seen every movie to win Best Picture – I’ve been working on this since 1993. I could’ve finished years ago, but I like to take my time with this sort of thing. So every year since about 1991 I’ve watched every movie that is nominated for Best Picture before the awards are given out so that I can make my own opinion about which one should win and which one will win. I’m almost always right. I’ve made inaccurate predictions only once. I’ve dissagreed a couple of times, in 1995 I felt that Shawshank Redemption should have won over Forrest Gump, and in 1998 anything else should have won over Titanic – Good Will Hunting, LA Confidential, As Good as it Gets, and Full Monty were all better movies. But this was the first year I not only didn’t agree with the Best Picture Winner, I made the wrong prediction. I correctly predicted all 4 acting categories, both screenplays, film editing, and director. I even agreed with most of them – except actor – I knew Leonardo DiCaprio had no chance, but he deserved the Oscar over Jamie Foxx. I don’t care that Jamie Foxx really couldn’t see during filming – that makes him less deserving – he didn’t have to act blind. Howard Hughes was a much more demanding role. So anyway, Best Picture – I predicted The Aviator. I watched all the nominated films. Finding Neverland is the only one I would probably watch again. It was kind of a weak year. I would probably watch Sideways again if it came on TV, I would not watch Ray again and I probably wouldn’t watch Million Dollar Baby again, I wouldn’t watch the Aviator again only because if I have 3 hours to spare I’ll watch something I haven’t seen before. So Million Dollar Baby won, and I can only assume that this has everything to do with Hollywood’s love affair with Clint Eastwood. I knew Scorsese wouldn’t get the director Oscar, I figured they’d give it to Clint, but I really, really thought The Aviator would end up on top. Don’t get me wrong, Million Dollar Baby was a good movie – Morgan Freeman was great, Clint Eastwood, while playing the same character he’s played for the last decade was still good, and I don’t have the problem with Hillary Swank that my husband does (I really don’t care that she looks like a man – her body looked fantastic in this movie so I didn’t really notice her face), but the story was very predictable and not at all original. It lacked the “wow factor” that most Best Picture winners create. I usually can predict the winner because it’s the movie that when I watch it in the theater I think, “Wow, this is amazing.” Almost all Best Picture nominees are amazing in some regard – it may be a great story, or perfect acting, or a fantastic set – but the winner usually has multiple wow factors. Million Dollar Baby had one wow factor and that was the perfect acting. It had nothing else. The Aviator on the other hand had more. Cate Blanchett won for her portrayal of Katherine Hepburn and Leo was nominated for his Howard Hughes, so I think it’s safe to say that the movie was well acted. The sets and costumes were stunning. The story was fascinating, and despite the 2 hour and 40+ minutes runtime, the editing was right on. Everything from the camera shots to the music was impressive. I’m at a loss to explain why this movie was passed over for a very ordinary Million Dollar Baby.
The Butcher
Posted: March 5, 2005 Filed under: Default 1 Comment »So people wonder why I don’t like getting my hair cut and why I always put it off until my hair is incredibly long and ratty. It mainly has to do with the fact that if I’m forced to go alone, I come out looking like crap. Most of you probably know this about me, but I’m fucking blind. I can’t see. If I take my glasses off, I literally cannot see six inches in front of my face clearly. So, when I’m going to get my hair cut, I have to put absolute faith in my stylist that they won’t screw me over. Today, I came out a little too trusting. I should have known things were going to go badly. Even if I could see. I doubt the lady and I could have communicated very well in English (me not knowing whatever language was her native tongue). So, the result is, I have a lot shorter hair than I was looking for. I present to your before and after photos:
Before:
After:
Let me know what you think, but I’m hating it. Maggie hates it too.
